---
title: How a Tea Ceremony Taught Me to Make Friends in a New City
description: Moving to Boulder at 16, I didn't know anyone. Then I found a tea shop. Here's what the Gong Fu Cha taught me about making friends in a new city.
image: https://res.cloudinary.com/cekiuehr/image/upload/c_fill,ar_16:9,g_auto,w_1200/f_auto,q_auto/blog/featured/how-a-tea-ceremony-taught-me-to-make-friends-in-a-new-city
---
[Josh Caliguire](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/?hsLang=en)
[Blog](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog) [Tea](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog) [Friendship](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog) [About](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/about?hsLang=en)
[Subscribe](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/contact#newsletter)
Tea
# How a Tea Ceremony Taught Me to Make Friends in a New City
Josh Caliguire · Apr 30, 2026
I research and test everything I recommend. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission on purchases through my links. Your price stays the same, and I get to keep brewing tea for friends. Win-win.
I was 16, brand new to Boulder, Colorado, moving my senior year of high school.
I'd just moved across the country with only my parents, left behind my community, my girlfriend, everything familiar. Boulder was beautiful. I didn't have anyone to share it with yet.
One afternoon, walking through the outdoor Pearl Street mall, I pushed through a set of big glass doors and got hit by a wall of aroma. Hundreds of teas lining every shelf and table. A dimly lit back room with low tables for floor sitting, a fountain, Chinese calligraphy on canvas, soft traditional music. You took your shoes off back there.
It was called [Ku Cha House of Tea.](https://www.kuchatea.com/)
It became my tea cave.
### What Ku Cha Taught Me About Tea
Nick and Rico ran the tea counter. Long-haired, soft-spoken, unhurried guys who actually loved what they were doing. When the shop was slow, one of them would come sit on the floor next to me while I read.
Nick introduced me to the Gong Fu Cha, the Chinese tea ceremony. I think of it as the pour-over of the tea world. Precise, intentional, beautiful in its own way. Small porcelain instruments, a bamboo tray to catch the spills, and the detail that sold me completely: tiny, tiny cups.
The ceremony is slow by design. You're not making one cup and drinking it in twenty minutes before it goes cold. You steep the same leaves over and over, sometimes five times, sometimes twenty, each infusion a little different from the last. The tea opens up gradually.
You need time for it, and it's entertaining but not distracting. Great for long, interesting conversations... and no where else to be. Just talks.
### How Tea Became My Favorite Way to Connect
Once I started learning, I couldn't stop. I scoured everything I could find about where tea comes from, how each type is processed, what makes one leaf taste smoky and another taste like stone fruit.
The book that taught me most of it is still on my shelf, and I still teach from it: [Blog: Tea: History, Terroirs, Varieties Review](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tea-history-terroirs-varieties-review?hsLang=en).
I started collecting. At home, I'd sit on the kitchen floor with my little teapot and cups and research tea...
Here's a blurry photo of my brand new double-walled ceramic tea cups from Ku Cha. Sipping The Tea Spot's [Boulder Blues](https://www.theteaspot.com/products/boulder-blues-loose-green-tea?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21704048354&gbraid=0AAAAAD9RITNN6v-xWmCLuymHky76IoRZk&gclid=CjwKCAjw-8vPBhBbEiwAoA39WnCfHF5ds2OHMeKNvFuONuI7iO_rViMgC1EE-4chxZqWhZnOo8Ho9hoC3VcQAvD_BwE), the first green tea that blew my mind.
Tea became a relaxed way to spend time with someone and show them something brand new.
My two go-to places to spend time with new friends in Boulder were the low tables at the back of Ku Cha, or on my kitchen floor with whatever I had in my cabinet. Tea gave me a reason to invite someone in, something to show them, a reason to stay a while.
Coffee is great for a 20-minute catch-up. Tea ceremony is built for an actual conversation. You're not rushing anywhere. The tea keeps getting poured.
There's nowhere else to be.
### So, I stuck around for a while. They asked if they could hire me.
Tea and the hospitality I learned through it have become a central part of who I am today. I’m thankful for Nick, Rico, and the Ku Cha owners Rong and Qin for helping a lonely high schooler find his way!
A year later, I was behind the counter and introducing my passion to many others!
If you're curious where to start with tea as a practice, not just a beverage, I'd point you toward a few things: find a quality loose-leaf tea shop near you if you can, or start exploring online.
Look for a simple [Gong Fu Cha starter](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CX46NYS1?tag=joshcaliguire-20) set... this is one I recommend. Get some good tea. Invite someone over, and have some fun!
**Keep reading:**
- [Blog: Gong Fu Cha: The Chinese Tea Ceremony That Will Slow You Down](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/gong-fu-cha-the-chinese-tea-ceremony-that-will-slow-you-down?hsLang=en)
- [Blog: The Best Gong Fu Cha Tea Ceremony Set for Beginners](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/gong-fu-cha-tea-ceremony-set-for-beginners?hsLang=en)
- [Blog: The Best Tea Experiences in Boulder](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/best-tea-experiences-in-boulder?hsLang=en)
About Josh Caliguire
Writer, friend, and community builder splitting time between Mazatlán, Boulder, and Alberta. I write about tea, friendship, and the deliberate small choices that make life richer.
[Subscribe to the newsletter →](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/contact#newsletter)
Keep Reading
## More from the blog
[](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/commercial-tea-brewer?hsLang=en)
Tea
### [Commercial Tea Brewers: How to Choose One for Making Tea at Scale (2026 Guide)](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/commercial-tea-brewer?hsLang=en)
How to choose a commercial tea brewer for a cafe or restaurant: iced vs hot tea, gallons per hour, plumbing, and the BUNN and Zojirushi picks I'd buy.
[](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tea-shop-equipment-list?hsLang=en)
Tea
### [What Equipment Do You Need to Open a Tea Shop? The 9 Essentials](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tea-shop-equipment-list?hsLang=en)
What equipment do you need to open a tea shop? The 9 essentials I'd buy first, from hot water boilers and display jars to an iced tea brewer.
[](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/best-water-boiler-for-tea?hsLang=en)
Tea
### [Best Water Boiler for Tea in 2026: Hot Water on Tap for Gong Fu Cha, Green Tea and Hosting](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/best-water-boiler-for-tea?hsLang=en)
The best water boiler for tea holds the right temperature all day. My 5 picks, led by the Zojirushi I've used for years, for gong fu cha, work and hosting.
## Pull Up a Chair
Get my best notes on tea, yerba mate, and friendship in your inbox. No spam, unsubscribe anytime.
Josh Caliguire
Writer, tea lover, and community builder. Exploring friendship, intentional living, and the best cup of the day.
Explore
- [Blog](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog?hsLang=en)
- [Tea](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tag/tea?hsLang=en)
- [Yerba Mate](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tag/yerba-mate?hsLang=en)
- [Friendship](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/tag/friendship?hsLang=en)
- [About](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/about?hsLang=en)
- [Contact](https://www.joshcaliguire.com/contact?hsLang=en)
Partners
© 2026 Josh Caliguire. Powered by tea, friendship, and midnight oreos and milk.
```json
{
"@context" : "https://schema.org",
"@type" : "BlogPosting",
"author" : {
"@type" : "Person",
"name" : "Josh Caliguire",
"url" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/author/josh-caliguire"
},
"dateModified" : "2026-06-04T03:01:23.461Z",
"datePublished" : "2026-04-30T19:14:13.000Z",
"headline" : "How a Tea Ceremony Taught Me to Make Friends in a New City",
"image" : [ "https://res.cloudinary.com/cekiuehr/image/upload/c_fill,ar_16:9,g_auto,w_1200/f_auto,q_auto/blog/featured/how-a-tea-ceremony-taught-me-to-make-friends-in-a-new-city" ],
"mainEntityOfPage" : {
"@id" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/how-a-tea-ceremony-taught-me-to-make-friends-in-a-new-city",
"@type" : "WebPage"
},
"publisher" : {
"@type" : "Organization",
"logo" : {
"@type" : "ImageObject",
"url" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/hubfs/josh_caliguire_logo_v4.svg"
}
}
}
```
```json
{
"@context" : "https://schema.org",
"@type" : "BlogPosting",
"articleSection" : "Friendship",
"author" : {
"@type" : "Person",
"name" : "Josh Caliguire",
"url" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/about"
},
"dateModified" : "2026-04-30",
"datePublished" : "2026-04-30",
"description" : "Moving to Boulder at 16, I didn't know anyone. Then I found a tea shop. Here's what the Gong Fu Cha taught me about making friends in a new city.",
"headline" : "How a Tea Ceremony Taught Me to Make Friends in a New City",
"image" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/hubfs/anastasiia-krutota-n8YWy5CUHjI-unsplash.jpg",
"inLanguage" : "en-US",
"keywords" : "how to make friends in a new city, tea and friendship, gong fu cha connection, tea ceremony social, making friends as an adult, tea as a social ritual, how to connect with people, tea shop boulder colorado, gong fu cha beginner, tea and community",
"mainEntityOfPage" : {
"@id" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/how-a-tea-ceremony-taught-me-to-make-friends-in-a-new-city",
"@type" : "WebPage"
},
"publisher" : {
"@type" : "Person",
"name" : "Josh Caliguire",
"url" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com"
},
"url" : "https://www.joshcaliguire.com/blog/how-a-tea-ceremony-taught-me-to-make-friends-in-a-new-city"
}
```